Racial preference in online dating
To be on the receiving end of that is both tedious and insulting.
That said, dating several people of the same race is not necessarily a sign of fetishisation – an ex and dear friend of mine currently has an Asian partner, but has also had multiple white partners, and from our interactions both as lovers and friends, I know that race was not a drawcard for him in either relationship.
You can prey more aggressively than you’d dare to face-to-face.
It becomes a game, where the prize is a person who’s seen as an object.
White is still viewed as the default, which is why men like to tell me I’m exotic, exciting. Australia has a problem with diversity on television.
If we don’t see people from culturally diverse backgrounds working in certain professions, it makes it harder for us to think we can break through, says Osman Faruqi.
I had never casually dated, and was cautiously excited to explore this new world. ” There’s a difference, though, between having a “type” and reducing people to a singular, uncontrollable factor about themselves, like race.
The first Tinder date I went on was with a white guy who quickly revealed that he generally liked to date “Asian girls” or “hipster girls who ride bikes”. He also referenced ‘Gangnam Style’, a whole two years after it was even remotely relevant. In the years since, I’ve received more than a few messages on these apps fixating on my race or ethnicity, whether to test out their rudimentary Vietnamese or to straight out tell me about their sexual fantasies. I don’t message white guys to tell them I love garlic bread (for the record, I bloody love garlic bread); why would a white man think that telling me how much he loves bánh mì is a hot ticket into my pants?
When I’ve told men off on dating apps for their overt sexualisation of me based on my race, their tones have often changed from sweet and flirty to violent. “You’re not that good anyway.” What’s interesting about the politics of sex and race online is that Asian men often face the opposite problem of having their sexuality and desirability erased altogether.‘Yellow fever’ – a phenomenon whereby men (usually white) fetishise Asian women – is terrifyingly common, and in the age of online dating, your exotic dream girl is only a click away. This fetishisation often comes down to problematic stereotypes of Asian women: docile, subservient, sexually submissive but totally down to fuck.In the eyes of these men, we assume a monolithic identity.The origins of sexual racism can be explained by looking at its history, especially in the US, where the abolition of slavery and the Reconstruction Era had significant impacts on interracial mixing.Attitudes towards interracial relationships, and indeed marriage, have increased in positivity in the last 50 years.