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And if she doesn't care, then you can decide whether it's a slight turn off or a deal breaker. If you're going to be compatible with a woman, you need to have common habits and hobbies. From this, you get a sense of whether she enjoys relaxing or letting loose when she's away from work.Her interests are reflected in what she likes to watch on a daily basis. Is she on the road to self-improvement and solely reads to better herself and her career, or does she read for pleasure? "This is a good way to know what her intellectual interests and passions are," Sullivan says "Instead of asking how close she is with her family, ask: 'Who's the most influential person in your life? "This will tell you more about her family dynamics and close relationships she has with friends." Unless she moved around a lot as a kid (this should spark questions, too), asking whether she still talks to friends from childhood will reveal how she values relationships and loyalty.You can gauge whether she's philanthropic, an outdoor buff with a killer bucket list, and everything in between."Learn about her culinary skills, what food she likes, if she's into healthy cooking, and has any favorite restaurants, Sullivan says.Meet the experts: Sarah Jones is a relationship expert, and founder and CEO of coaching website Introverted Alpha, and Sameera Sullivan is the CEO of Lasting Connections, an elite matchmaking service. "This is a great ice-breaker because it's a little mischievous and flirtatious," Jones says."It's a sign you'd like to know her beyond surface level, while still giving her the freedom to reveal what she wants to share—and doesn't." This question lets you get a sense of what she feels strongly about and whether she's spirited and heartfelt.But you'll also be able to reign in any bad habits that might prevent you from nabbing a second date.
You need ice breakers, light-hearted queries, questions that provoke banter, laughter, and thought, as well as questions that dig a bit deeper and go beyond the superficial. If she hates planes, road trips, or has no desire to leave her hometown ever, that's a good indicator of her ambitions and desires (or lackthereof).
"You get a glimpse into her day, her job responsibilities, how she deals with stress, her energy level, tone, and how she spends her time," Jones says. Some say you never truly know someone until you travel with them.
Those small details and what she chooses to focus on—whether good or bad—clue you in on her personality big time. Odds are you won't be traveling on a first date, but this question (paired with the above) can offer a ton of clues about her persona.
This question rocks whether you're new to a city or you've lived there for years.
"You get to talk about local places she likes, see what you have in common, bond over the people, culture, and why you moved to the area in the first place," Jones says.