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My voice was so hoarse that it was one broken leg away from a glue factory, and my personality had a heavy case of whiskey d**k.By the time I got to the handsomest man in the room, I could tell we were both exhausted.

I had no desire to impress or pretend to be interested in anything that wasn't sleep -- or pizza, or a burrito, or both at the same time -- which is a shame, because this gentleman was like a surprisingly nice dessert section in a really bad buffet.New Jersey Young Gay Professionals is a group that plans casual and fun social events for the LGBT community.NJYGP will be hosting a variety of events across the state, including happy hours, Girls/Boys Night Out, networking, hiking, speed Dating, and more.I tried my best to be my most "top" self (like trying to polish a turd, as they say).I tried to make my chest seem bigger, deepened my voice and swigged my sh***y beer like I was in a square state.

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I was less than halfway through a night of gay speed dating for "bottoms" and "tops" and had already been asked three times if I was in the right group. You're gayer than Judy Garland's Christmas ornaments. " I eventually "lost" my name tag at some point in the night. Far too many of the men, who were essentially about to go on at least 15 first dates, were wearing T-shirts and tank tops.

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