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We can’t always help others, but there are times when we must even or especially when it seems difficult. We can show women who are skeptical that women can be trustworthy by being trustworthy.I do believe we are obligated to share stories about predatory men. And might there be times when we need to engage in something akin to a “bystander intervention? Men need to take responsibility for the prevalence of thirteenth stepping.Living in a culture where men are accorded enormous authority about virtually everything, is it any surprise that many women who are early in their sobriety or struggling with relapse would look to men as experts or guides?And it is not so surprising that some men find this irresistible and take it to various degrees. Thirteenth stepping is primarily done by men to women.This is because their priority needs to be staying sober.The first few months of recovery are often described as an emotional rollercoaster because there is so much going on.
An individual who preys upon new vulnerable members is hindering and actively harming other members.Those who condone or remain passive when aware of thirteenth stepping are also abdicating our responsibilities to help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of I don’t trust them.” Some of this distrust is manufactured in a context in which women compete for the attention and approval of men, which circles back to my point above. Yes, I do believe that women have certain duties or obligations.So what do women members of AA owe other members of AA? We do have an obligation to help others some of the time.
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Yes, this puts a burden on men, but that is precisely where the burden rests.