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Alan Montecillo logged on to Ok Cupid and started filling out his profile.
He wrote down his height (6 feet), listed his interests (podcasts, basketball, reading) and included photos of himself outdoors.
He needed online dating only to “work once,” he says, and it did.
In the process, Montecillo, 25, also learned to not judge himself based on others people’s standards.
He asked himself: “Would people notice [me] if I was a large bearded white guy who likes hiking? I don’t need it in online dating, too.] After nearly three years on Ok Cupid, Montecillo met his current girlfriend, who is Caucasian.
His approach was to emphasize his interests (he and his girlfriend are both big fans of Radiotopia podcasts); and keep his profile short but interesting.
“Maybe they’d talk about how they’re really into anime, manga or ‘Have you seen that scary Japanese or Korean movie?
Rather than cast a wide net, he would message just one woman per week.
It just means they often find themselves making an effort to improve their chances.
Montecillo ended up including his ethnicity on his profile, but he removed it after an exhausting period where he received a response about once in every eight or nine messages. you can’t help but wonder sometimes.” [Black women face prejudice every day.
But when Montecillo reached the section that asked for his ethnicity, he hesitated.
Montecillo, whose parents are Filipino, was born in New York and spent 13 years living in Hong Kong.
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This alleviated the feeling of being overwhelmed and helped him get to know the person he was interested in.